(DAY 2.16-17-18-19)

DAY 2.16 - This day made sense. I think I ate food that day. OH I REMEMBER.  I ate a lot of food, I just didn't swallow any of it - literally I did that gross thing where you chew up food and then spit it into a cup.  I was trying to appease my mouth's desire to have crunchy things to maw on, and I did succeed at that. Went to bed around 3am after staying up super late making hockey jerseys out of garbage bags and duct tape while watching the Mighty Ducks 3 and the latest Game of Thrones episode.

DAY 2.171819 started out as a normal kind of day.

SUPER LONG VERSION: It was a Wednesday morning.  I did my thing - got up at 6:30am after about 3.5 hours of sleep, went to work, visited the coffee stand, did some paperwork. Rode my bike to the chiropractor at 3:00. First time I had ever ridden UP to capital hill from U-District - straight up the main rode that the bus takes.  I was always afraid of that hill before, and it really wasn't that bad!  :D  Yay! After chiro I rode downtown to the Korean consulate and picked up my passport, complete with my brand new shiny VISA!  Yay! Then it was back to U-district for a group meeting to prepare for our final presentation on Wednesday. That went well, too!

THEN, it was time to go to the library. Like, for good. Like, for all night. My degree project prof had emailed me Tuesday informing me that I'd be one of the 6 lucky students who got to present their project (informally) on Thursday during class. This meant that I needed to have my shit figured out by Thursday morning, and have a full draft of my paper ready by then. Luckily, Odegaard undergraduate library is open 24 hours a day most of the week, so I had 16 hours or so to work on my paper before I had to present.

I had taken some drops at about 11:30 (I ran home for lunch), but I was also realizing that I was a bit hungry. Or something? I needed/wanted/felt-like-I-should eat at least something before embarking on this journey - and also I should get coffee. Definitely coffee. Unfortunately, the cafe under the library was closed (I was thinking maybe I could get some chicken breast or sliced turkey meat or something). So I headed down to the coffee shop, which also usually has sandwiches. NOT THIS DAY, though - all the sandwiches were gone. So I opted for the teriyaki place next door, and got chicken katsu with a side salad (no rice), and only ate about 1/3 of the chicken (mostly without the sauce - because at this point, I was still trying to be relatively good). I was pleasantly surprised by how quickly I got filled up - really after 1/4 of the chicken I felt satisfied. Then I went to the cafe and got 4 shots of espresso and hot water for my market spice tea. And a molasses ginger cookie. Because sugar.

Made my way back to the library, called my mom for her birthday like the dutiful daughter I ought to be, visited the vending machines downstairs and bought chocolate for later while still on the phone with Lisa. (Because sugar.)

Camped out at a desk. Did a good 3 hours of fuck-all. Then did a good 3 hours of legit research (all the research I should have been doing during the past 3 weeks). During those 6 hours ate all the chocolate I had bought, and the leftover chicken from earlier. The cafe under the library opens again at 9pm and stays open till 1am, so I went down at 12:30am to get moooooore coffee. So I got another 4 shots, hot water for hot chocolate, and chocolate froyo with sprinkles. Because sugar. And more vending machine chocolate.

Back upstairs for another 1.5 hours of research. Then ACTUALLY WROTE SHIT for a good 5 hours. NOT a complete draft, but at least a full outline - and a good 25 pages. Definitely enough for me to be able to present. Finished all the chocolate. (Because sugar.) And drank lots of magnesium (I had brought it with me and was adding it to water bottles all night). Felt mentally accomplished, although not particularly lively or clear-headed at this point. Definitely relying on will power and sugar to keep me upright at this point.

(DAY 2.18?) Rode my bike back to work, got a breakfast sandwich and hashbrown at cafeteria next to work (because hungry).  Printed the draft, went to the coffee stand and made myself another 4 shots of coffee. Rode back to campus, bought a cookie & chocolate donut at coffee stand under classroom (because sugar), gave my sorry little presentation at 9:00am. I have no idea if I was coherent. I didn't feel very coherent. By that time, I only had a memory span of about 40 seconds. Ate 3 cookies people had brought for celebration (because sugar).

Then ran to the HUB bookstore real quick to buy tape to fix one of the jerseys for the group presentation I was giving at 11:30am. Presentation went super-well. It was a good thing that I didn't have a big part - because memory retention had gone down to 30 seconds or so, and I had started getting distracted by things like "the wall over there". Ate some candy (because sugar) that the professor always brought to that class.

Yeah! Graduate School! Where we study The Mighty Ducks!
Yes, I totally made those jerseys.

Rode home - how I managed to stay awake to ride home I'm not really sure, but I did. And I ate half an apple while doing it - only half because riding up the ave on a bicycle, sans helmet, headphones in, mostly asleep, trying to eat an apple at the same time seemed like an unreasonable amount of risk. Made it home, changed into shorts and a tank top (did I mention it was hella hot out), took some HCG drops and thyroid pills, and literally ran to the nearest car2go so that I could drive it to my posture therapy appointment at 2pm. Got stuck in horrible traffic, and got there around 2:20pm - luckily her next appointment was late, so I still got my full hour appointment, even if I was yawning and responding like a belligerent 4-year-old to everything she said. Drove back home in car2go, and finally dropped into bed at 4:15pm.

After being awake for 33.5 hours on 4 hours of sleep, I passed out for a whole 3.5 hours before getting back up at 7:45pm, taking a shower, taking more HCG drops and thyroid pills, getting fancified, and heading to MY LAST JKPOP EVAAAAR. TT__TT  So you see, it was important that I be there.  I got downtown at 9pm, ran into the Kaladi Brothers to get another 4 shots of espresso, and then was planning on getting a dumpling from this Russian place near my chiro's office - but it was closed. So I went to JKPOP first, then realized I was pretty hungry? (I still don't think "hunger" is quite right - but either my brain or my body very much wanted calories or sugar to keep it going at this point.) So I headed out to get food, only there wasn't anything quick nearby so I ended up at Cupcake Royale, where I got mint ice cream with hot fudge and a cinnamon cookie (because sugar). Then went back to JKPOP and DANCE-DANCE-DANCE-DA-DANCED. Yay JKPOP! When Heidi got there a took a little break and went out to the street corner and bought a hot dog with cream cheese and ketchup and BBQ sauce (because delicious). Also had a red bull around midnight because I was starting to fade again (can't imagine why). Anyway, DJ Hojo (and Bishie) played all my favorite songs (<3 them for doing that), and I finally headed out at 1:30am after dancing for 4 hours.

Hiked up Broadway to drive a car2go home, getting 2 Dick's cheeseburgers and a chocolate shake on the way (because sugar). Got home around 2:15am. Went to bed around 3:30am, because I'm weird and my body isn't functioning correctly at this point (obviously).

(DAY 2.19?) Woke up at 7:00am after about 3.5 hours of sleep (we've now accumulated 7 hours of sleep for the 3 days I've been awake), took some more HCG drops and thyroid pills, and headed off to work. Drank some hot chocolate (because sugar). Printed out some papers - haven't really done much with them. Went to lunch with Jasmin at 12 and ate pho (because food). Came back to office and continued to be useless. Has literally taken me 2 hours to type this post because I still can't concentrate on anything for longer than 30 seconds. Have a chiro-massage at 5:00pm. Am hoping to get that dumpling.

AND THEN? Who the fuck knows. My body is SO SCREWED UP RIGHT NOW.
I'M SORRY BODY.

And I'm sorry body, but I also have a degree project to finish in the next 48 hours, and also an 8-page term paper that I need to bang out by Monday night. My tentative plan is to go to my massage, get my dumpling, go home, and sleep until my body wakes up. Then head back down to the library (since it's still open 24 hours) and stay there until my degree project is finished, which hopefully won't take me until Sunday afternoon.

OH RIGHT, and my landlords are showing my apartment Monday and Tuesday, so at some point before Monday morning I need to clean my apartment somehow. Because it is a fucking pit at this point. Seriously covered in filth.

I am not sure why I ever thought I could do this diet during finals week.  I can't manage to stick to a semi-normal Riley diet on finals week, much less a crazy-fucker of a diet on the worst finals week I've ever had given schedule and commitments. I don't know if I've gained a bunch of weight back or not. I think I'm around 134 again - or at least I was the last time I checked which was... one of the last times I was home? I don't know why I've kept taking the drops really, except that on top of everything else my body is going through at the moment I don't think it's going to make much of a difference one way or another, so like, why the fuck not. Perhaps the biggest take-away I will have from this whole diet is that now I know what my body can look and feel like at 130 lbs, and that is now a real and tangible thing that I want to get back to, and surpass.

ALSO CROSSFIT RE-COMMENCES ON MONDAY. HELLS YES CROSSFIT. IT'S GONNA HURT SO BAD.



TLDR VERSION: Coming soon. Well, not that soon. (Because sleep first.)