(DAY 9)

Wow. I am all over the place today.  On a roller coaster.

I woke up to find no weight change = grumpy face.  Waiting patiently for magnesium to kick in.  I also think this is some psychological response to finally being 142 or less, which is a magical/angry number for me (yes, Lisa, a number which is your fault and unfortunately is one of those things towards which I will always hold a grudge).

THEN, I went and checked my email (because God forbid I wait until I get to work), and YAY Korean school has officially offered me the job / sent me a contract!!!  ^______^

Was very late to work... then spent time at work looking over the contract, sending questions/concerns to my recruiter/the school, and forwarding good news to my parents.  Because of this, didn't have much prep time for class (to which I was also late), which stressed me out but turned out okay because we didn't actually discuss the reading.  Instead we did small group consultations for our degree projects - and I got a lot of good ideas about my project.

Time for tea before next class.  Hello Smooth Move.  And time for an apple, because I didn't have vinegar with which to dress my lettuce, so I didn't want to eat my "lunch."  I wish now that I had.  Found out I inadvertently pissed off my dad with communications.

Next class very fun.  However, I started to get more jittery/weak feeling - which is kind of what I get in place of hunger now - probably all low blood sugar symptoms.

Back to work - already feeling v. accomplished, although still a little unhappy physiologically.

Am also reviewing Dad's contract feedback. Am alternately feeling stupid for sending such a hasty response to the recruiter, and relatively justified because I feel like I addressed most of his concerns already, or already know the answers to the ones that I didn't.

I'm pretty happy I just get to go home tonight.  Even if I do just get to go home and write a memo and work on my degree project.

Captain's Log, stardate 2013.430
Wakeup: (6:30am, 6 hours of sleep)
Snack (11:00am)
- apple
Lunch (1:45pm)
- chicken
- lettuce'n'vinegar
Dinner (7:30pm)
- beef
- kale chips
Snack (0:00pm)
- oops
Bedtime (12:00am)
Water: 48oz
Tea: 66oz

HIGH FIDELITY (DAY 8)

Monday, Monday. I've been singing the silly Mommas & Poppas song all morning. Which is stupid, because it's a very "pro-Monday morning" kind of song, and I am emphatically "no-no-Monday morning" song. Actually, now that I'm listening to the whole song... it's a little confusing. Do they like Mondays or not? They seem to be okay with mornings at first, but then later they say you can find them "crying all of the time" on Mondays...

This is a typical thing for me to do on Monday morning - ignore reality by getting overly involved in pop song lyrics.

Things are good so far. Haven't felt hungry at all the past couple of days - yay!  Need to have more regular bowel movements, sans Smooth Move tea ('cause that's more cramping than I need in my life, thankyouverymuch), so Doctor says magnesium at night. So back to the Whole Foods vitamin section I go!

Yeah, today was definitely a 7.  I think eating earlier helped - I actually had lunch at 11, and dinner around 5.  Also, helps me get to bed a little earlier, potentially.  ^__^


Captain's Log, stardate 2013.429
Wakeup: (6:30am, 6 hours of sleep)
Lunch (11:00am)
- halibut w/pepper & dill
- kale chips w/onion powder
Snack (3:30pm)
- hard-boiled egg white
Dinner (5:30pm)
- chicken
- lettuce'n'vinegar
Snack 8:00pm
- apple
Bedtime (12:00am)
Water: 96oz
Tea: 68oz

Also, just because it's awesome, here's an amazing version of "I Say a Little Prayer" by Aretha Franklin.  Complete with awkward/bad youtube slideshow.

TOODLES.

GLOBETROTTING (DAY 7)

Kale chips are my new best friend.  Which is great, because now I've expanded my vegetable options to THREE different things (Lettuce, Cucumber, & Kale)!

Felt half decent today - I'm tempted to say I've finally bumped up to a "7" on the feel-good scale.  But I wasn't a 7 all day, so... 6.85.  Yeah.  That feels right.

I think the best thing I did was eat relatively soon after waking up.  But I also got my second night in a row of 9+ hours of sleep, so it's hard to say what the better feelings were really from.  Anyway, I'm resolved to wait to eat till tomorrow at lunch as per usual, and see if that was the culprit - if it was, then I'll probably start a different eating schedule that's more like "brunch, snack, early dinner, snack," and see if that makes things sit better.  It would also prevent me from eating dinner at 9pm, which is probably a good strategy. You know, for life in general.

In other new, today's been busy. Like, all over the map busy. Woke up, showered, watched some project runway and cleaned the house a bit, discovered ants, went to the store, cleaned the apartment and rid myself of the ants via vacuum, traps, and raid, found out my step-grandmother passed away (T_T), finished the outline for my degree project, and actually started on a memo for class that isn't due for another 4 days. I might try and do some laundry as well. I feel pretty damn accomplished, actually. And what's always surprising about that is I look back on my day and go, "Hey, that wasn't so hard. Being productive wasn't so bad." Which makes me think it would/could/should be so easy to be so much more successful at life than I am at present. :P


Captain's Log, stardate 2013.428
Wakeup: (10:30am, 9.25 hours of sleep)
Lunch (12:00pm)
- beeeeef
- kale chips w/onion powder
Snack (3:30pm)
- strawberries
Dinner (6:00pm)
- chicken
- cucumber smoothie (still mostly gross)
Snack (8:45pm)
- apple
Bedtime (12:00am)
Water: 128oz
Tea: 56oz

PEACE OUT, BITCHES.

^__^

WEEK 1 RECAP

Really, I should be posting these tomorrow or Tuesday, but I have more time on Sundays so I'm gonna post weeklys on Sundays.

As of today, after 6 days of eating only 500 calories per day while taking pharmacy-grade sublingual HCG hormone drops, I have lost 8.4 pounds, and 6.4 inches. That's pretty ridiculous.

I'm trying to keep track of everything, so I might have a better idea of what effects my losses - I already think drinking more water (and more water than tea) is definitely important. And I lost the least today, actually, and I think that's because yesterday I got my heart rate up running after a bus, which I'm not supposed to do.

Here's the numbers/graphical data, because Yes, I am that much of an Excel nerd. Remember the first two days were "gorging" days, hence the weight gain. (I think calling them "loading" days sounds much nicer.)

The numbers I find more exciting, however, are the measurement inches. I was pretty shocked at my waist (1.5 inches) and my belly button (1.75 inches). Even though that's the area where I know I lose weight the fastest, it's still impressive. The only thing that didn't go down was my calves, which is unsurprising since they're pretty much all muscle, at least at the thickest part of my calf.

So, overall... The good news definitely outweighs any negative feelings I have towards my energy level or inability to have a corn dog. CORN DOG YOU WILL BE MINE AGAIN ONE DAY, BUT NOT THIS DAY. I feel like I'm adjusting well - it's definitely a learning curve, and trying to adjust your life so that you're still in a good place each day. I'm excited for Week 2, 3, 4, etc - and what changes that time is going to bring.

MARGOT TENNENBAUM (DAY 6)

Restocking day.  It is so unbelievably easy to spend $100 in Whole Foods, especially if you're buying vitamins.  And top sirloin beef (the only beef I'm allowed to eat).  The cat's diet is improving a lot from this as well, as he gets all my meat scraps from trimming things to 4oz.  And there's lettuce/greens in the kitchen again, which send him through the roof.  Seriously, he gets more excited for spinach than he does for catnip.

Also, I love my broiler.  Why did I never use the broiler feature on an oven before this year?  It is amazing and fast. ^_^

So, bought the liver support vitamins that Doctor recommended - hopefully those will help me feel a little better.  Again, it's not like I feel particularly bad, it's just that I don't feel wonderful.  I'm like a 6.5 on the feel good scale, and I would like to be more in the 7-9 range.  9-10 doesn't really happen unless I get to crossfit, so I'm not shooting for 10s.  SACRIFICES MUST BE MADE.  Really, 6.5 just means I don't get to my normal level of happy/peppy/excitable, etc.  It leaves me feeling a bit like I'm pretending to be Margot Tennenbaum, which is not really my normal state of affairs.

Anyway, I'll let you know some real numbers tomorrow.

Captain's Log, stardate 2013.427
Wakeup: (10:00am, 9.75 hours of sleep)
Snack (2:20pm)
- apple
Lunch (3:30pm)
- beeeeef
- lettuce'n'vinegar
Dinner (10:00pm)
- chicken (w/curry & garam masala)
- kale chips
Snack (0:00pm)
- uhm, didn't eat this
Bedtime (1:15am)
Water: 106
Tea: 42



TA.

PINOCCHIO (DAY 5)

My nose seems big today. And my chin is exploding.  But otherwise, today feels very similar to yesterday.  Doctor recommends eating a handful of vegetables in the morning and taking some liver-boosting vitamins, so I'll work on that over the weekend.

Captain's Log, stardate 2013.426
Wakeup: 6:15am (7:15 hours of sleep)
Snack (12:15pm)
- apple
Lunch (2:00pm)
- chicken breast
- lettuce'n'vinegar
Dinner (7:30pm)
- eggs*
- cucumber/lemon smoothie (much less gross)
Snack (9:30)
- strawberries
Bedtime: 12:15a
Water count: 112oz
Tea count: 52oz


*HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS EGGS ARE LIKE THE BEST THING EVER.  Mostly because I got to cook them fresh (I had pre-cooked all my other meat), and because they expand so it seemed like there were more of them.  Even though they're mostly egg whites (3 eggs, but only 1 yolk).

TOODLES.

Secret Curves

Zinger (see the sidebar) is the "rapper" in Secret.

Secret is the only Kpop girl group with bodies that I find really attractive.
They have the most "glamorous" bodies out of any of the Kpop girl groups.

"Glamorous" is the Korean way of saying that they've either got tits or ass - some kind of lady curves. Like, there will be an article about Hyorin (of Sistar) showing off her "glamorous" body, which really just means that she wore something that showed some cleavage. Actually, I think that usually "glamorous" = boobies. They don't even know how to handle asses (see the original inspiration post for a great video of Zinger dancing a Beyonce song and the guys around her literally dropping their jaws). If they want to talk both T & A usually they go with a concept of "S-line" - e.g. "Sunny has a great S-line."

(This is Sunny.) (This is Sunny's S-Line.)

S-Line
Ahh, the ever popular s-line. We all know what the letter “s” looks like - curvy. This is exactly what the term is used to describe, a curvy woman. Well, curvy in KPOP standards. It almost resembles an hourglass: larger around the chest and buttocks than at the waist.
S-Liners: 4minute’s Hyuna, miss A’s Min and Secret’s Zinger
(from The Complete Glossary of KPOP Body Terms)

(Korean's may think that Hyuna has an S-Line, but I think she's flat as a pancake all around. She just knows how to shake/accessorize that flatness in a distracting enough way that it gets everyone confused.)

Actually, 3 of the 4 girls in Secret have pretty awesome S-Lines.   I just think the girls in Secret have the right amount of meat on their bones, and in the correct places:

Unfortunately, Korean ideals finally got to Secret, and they all have slimmed down over the past couple of years, which I find terribly disappointing.  I loved that there was on legitimately sexy-bodied girl-group.  They're still a bit better than most, but they're much closer to the standard now, Zinger included.  T__T

And if you looked at that video and you were like, what are you talking about - those girls are practically sticks?!?  Well, I sympathize with you.  But after years of watching Kpop, I have acquired a Korean-lens for body image (which I can turn off, no worries).  For comparison, though, let me introduce you to Rainbow, who I find to be creepily stick-like.

Yeah. Just felt like sharing.  Because I always feel like sharing Kpop videos. Always.

And we have to end with Secret, because retro dances and shapely legs are better than skinny Rainbow girls.

SLEEPY HOLLOW (DAY 4)

HCG continues on.  It's very strange to think that I've consumed only around 2000 calories in the last 4 days, and I'm not dying.

Good things:
-- I am not as hungry as I was at the beginning of the week.  Still a bit hungry, but not painfully so.
-- Things are moving in the right direction (you'll just have to wait for Sunday to find out specifics).
-- Figured out I should be holding the drops under my tongue for a lot longer than I was, hopefully that will be helpful.
-- Smoothifying vegetables is a good thing for me.  Then I still get the fiber, but I don't have to crunch it up with my own teeth.
-- I am a champ at drinking water and tea.  (TMI: Seriously, it's like emptying a 32oz waterbottle into the sink every time I go to the bathroom.  It's very satisfying.)

Less good things:
-- I'm still queasy and a little weak-feeling in the morning.  And all morning - not just before I've taken the drops, but all morning until I get food in me for the first time. Doctor thinks this is because of low blood sugar (I think she was under the impression that queasiness was only happening before drops in the morning. I'm waiting to hear back if she thinks I should change my dosage knowing it is both before and after drops).
-- I'm still a bit hungry, although not painfully so.
-- My blood pressure is much higher than normal... Is it caused by less-good-thing-#1? I do not know.  Usually my bp is super low - e.g. 90/60, and today at the little Bartell's machine is was 127/73.  My pulse is its usual normally low self: 52.
-- I hope that vaseline on my lips won't terribly eff this diet up (you have to remove all cosmetics and skin care stuff with oils or fats) - but my lips were literally turning to shredded paper and I couldn't take it any more. Because vaseline doesn't actually absorb into your skin, most people think it's okay.


It's really easy to be a worry-wart on this diet, but I think with the level of risk/weirdness you're asking you body to undertake, that's probably an okay thing.


Captain's Log, Stardate 2013.425
Wakeup: 6:00am (sleep: 7 hours)
Snack (11:15am)
- apple
Lunch (1:45pm)
- halibut
- lettuce'n'vinegar
Dinner (8:00pm)
- beeeeeeeef <3
- cucumber lettuce lemon smoothie (it was really gross)
Snack (9:30pm)
- strawberries
Bedtime: 11:00pm
Water count: 32oz
Tea count: 82oz (i might be overdoing it on the tea...)

In other news, kitter is happy to have me home more often. And so am I.

HUNGER GAMES (DAY 3)

It gets better, kids.

I think hormones have started to kick in more, and I also took an extra dose at lunch today. So, NOT IN HUNGER PAIN - YAY! Still a little bit hungry, though, so things probably still need to be tweaked a bit - I'm not supposed to be hungry at all. But it's definitely better, at least a bit, and that makes me happy. ^__^

Captain's Log, Stardate 2013.424
Wakeup: 6:15am (sleep: 6.5 hours)
Lunch (11:30am)
- chicken breast (better when heated!)
- lettuce'n'vinegar
Snack (3:00pm)
- apple
Dinner (9:00pm)
- beeeeeef
- cucumber (smoothie-fied)
Snack (9:00pm)
- strawberries (smoothie-fied)
Bedtime: 11:00
Water count: 76oz
Tea count:  72oz


... you like how i'm keeping you in suspense and not letting you know if/how much weight i've lost?
yeah, i thought you'd appreciate that suspense.

HUNGER GAMES (DAY 2)

Rolling around in my head ALL DAY LONG:

 

So... I'm still hungry.  Uncomfortably so.  Or at least I was until about 15 minutes ago when I finally started to eat lunch.  AMAZING what a little lettuce & vinegar will do for your mood.

FEAR NOT.  I have contacted my doctor, and we're gonna change up the dosage for tomorrow. Because I dislike being uncomfortably hungry.  And feeling like Lydia Bennet.

I am also excited for the rest of the week, when I don't have stuff going on at night and so can go home and eat my dinner at a normal time. Instead of at 9 o'clock at night.

Captain's Log, Stardate 2013.423
Wakeup: 6:00am (sleep: 6.5 hours)
Snack (11:00am)

- apple

Lunch (1:30pm)
- chicken, baked w/salt & pepper, cayanne powder
- iceberg lettuce w/lemon & apple cider vinegar
Snack (5:00pm)
- strawberries
Dinner (9:00pm)
- beef
- 1/3 a cucumber
Bedtime: 11:45pm
Water count: ~96oz
Tea count:  ~44oz

HUNGER GAMES (DAY 1)

So.  On to "Phase 2."

Phase 2 being the Very Low Calorie Diet period of the diet.  Wherein I only get about 500 calories a day, and my body instead eats the fat stored on my body (the HCG prevents me from going into "starvation" mode).

What do I get to eat, you ask?  Well, it's very exciting.

Lunch:
4oz lean protein (beef, veal, chicken, white fish)
large handful of vegetables*

Snack:
Apple*

Dinner:
4oz lean protein (different from lunch protein)
large handful of vegetables*

Snack:
Strawberries*

There are pretty specific lists for what kinds of veggies/fruits I can have for snacks.  But because I am still picky Riley, the list gets even smaller.  The snacks will probably be apples and strawberries forever. The veggies will probably be lettuce (iceberg or romaine) and cucumbers. I may branch out and try roasting some kale eventually.  Who knows, maybe this will help me get over my texture sensitivity and I'll find myself eating all kinds of new vegetables.

Zinger is also skeptical.

Anyway, it is now 11:30am.  I'm relatively hungry at this point.  So far today I've had ~32oz of water, and 14oz of peppermint tea.  PLUS a buttload of Vitamins. NOTE TO SELF: do not eat all your vitamins in the morning from now on.  I forgot how unhappy vitamins on an empty stomach make me.  And by "unhappy" I mean "slightly nauseous."

Supposedly (according to the internet), the first few days of this can be the hardest, depending on whether or not you got enough calories in your "gorge" days to help tide you over until the HCG really kicks in.  I'm also a little worried because I have a looong day today (work + econ class till 9:00pm), so I take my 2nd dose of drops pretty late. (I'm supposed to take two sets of 9 spaced evenly throughout the day.  I took 12 this morning because I knew I wouldn't get back home until super late. Don't know if that will make any difference or not.)

2nd NOTE TO SELF:  Go the FUCK to BED!  
I didn't go to sleep last night until 2:30am, and then I was up again at 7am.  I'm aware this is NOT the best way to help my body do all the weird shit I'm asking it to do.



Captain's Log, Stardate 2013.422
Wakeup: 6:45am (sleep: 4.25 hours)
Lunch (1:00pm)
- chicken, baked w/salt & pepper, cayanne powder
- iceberg lettuce w/lemon & apple cider vinegar
Snack (5:00pm)
- apple
Dinner (9:00pm)
- halibut
- romaine lettuce w/apple cider vinegar
Snack (11:00pm)
- strawberries
Bedtime: 11:30pm
Water count: ~112oz
Tea count:  ~48oz

START

So, I've taken my awesome "before" pictures, and my measurements.

40.April.2013
Weight: 153.6lbs
Upper Arm: 13.75"
Bust: 36.5"
Waist: 29.5"
Hips: 43"
Thigh: 25.75"
Calf: 16.25"

Ugh, legs, I will be happy to see you looking differently in 42 days:
In other news: well done, waistline, way to hold down the fort.

Also, I'm at the end of the my "gorge" days (that's literally what they're called).  It is hard to keep eating, because I'm really not hungry at all.  I'm still planning on going to chipotle later and eating a burrito if I can... we'll see how that goes.  I definitely think I didn't eat enough yesterday - not enough to be considered truly "gorging," you're supposed to feel really uncomfortably full all day, and I didn't reach that.

It's really weird to be sitting at home and have NO DESIRE to eat... usually if I'm at home I'm constantly looking for a snack.

Day 1 Food (+ last day of crossfit TT.TT):
1tbsp butter
2 beef & cheese piroshkys
1 square - caramel marshmallow fudge
1 limon creme chocolate
12 oz hot chocolate
1 handful raw cashews
butter chicken with rice (v. spicy)
1/3 large bag popcorn w/butter

Day 2 Food (as of 7:00pm):
meat pie w/cheese
french fries
1/2 square peanut butter fudge
vanilla/vanilla cupcake
12 oz hot chocolate
12 oz beet/apple/ginger veggie juice
1/2 bag leftover popcorn w/butter
veggie juice - greens/lemon
kombucha
----- (post 7:00pm)
burrito! with beef and beef
chocolate milk
6 pieces of bacon
2 tbsp ground flaxseed
veggie juice - greens/lemon


yeah, i feel gross and unhappy about eating.
but i made all of my meat for the next 7 days ^__^

INSPIRATION. (I has it.)

Much like 14 year old girls in movies about adolescence, I think it most appropriate to find some real-life inspiration for what I would like to look like.  And yes, they're mostly Asian (Korean, actually. I'm moving to Korea in August - one of the main reasons I'm doing this).  Anyway.  I like to keep it somewhat realistic at least in trying to find people who are similar in height to me.

(unrealistic) aspiration # 1:

SUNNY - Girls Generation / SNSD

(unrealistic) aspiration #2

MIN from Miss A

TOTALLY ATTAINABLE THIGHS & ASS:

ZINGER (circa 2011) from Secret

Also, lets be serious - WAY BETTER thighs and ass than Sunny & Min.

Let's continue to be proud of the junk in the trunk.

SERIOUSLY.  I'MMA MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

it's like korean men have NO IDEA how to handle an ass that actually jiggles a bit:

Zinger lost a significant amount of weight last year, and thusly the fabulous ass, but she's still pretty smokin':

NON-ASIAN SHORTIES WITH THICK LEGS:

RIHANNA 

jesus christ do i love this fucking video:

yes.  watching this video every morning for the next 45 days.

KRISTIN BELL

(you know, the sloth girl)

and the ultimate sexy/curvacious SHORT actress/celebrity/filmmaker:

SALMA HAYEK

okay - "ultimate" if we exclude this one:

Man, I feel better already.  Also, I spent waaaay too much time making this post.  It was fun, though. :)

TOODLES.

AND SO IT BEGINS.

Hello MJ day!

Today is Day 1 of my taking HCG.  As with everyone else who's done HCG - I'M GONNA BLOG ABOUT IT.  Because, hopefully, this is going to represent a gigantic fucking change in my life, and it seems appropriate to document that in some way (hey, thanks internet).

Days 1 & 2 - EAT ALL THE THINGS!

Days 3-43 - EAT NO THINGS!  or rather, very very few things.  500 calories of things per day, to be exact.  More on this in two days.

Days 1-43 - DRINK ALL THE WATER!  And make sure you're having a good bowel movement once a day.

Days 43-60ish - SLOWLY EAT MORE THINGS.  Bringing yourself back to normal calorie levels, slowly incorporate good fats and oils back into your diet.


Anyway, I'll post my photos and measurements later so I can compare at the end of every week/end of the program.

TOODLES.