(DAY 2.12)

Tonight, I'm going ON A BOAT.

For the Evan's School Spring "Ball" ... I haven't been to one yet, and I thought maybe I should participate once before I graduate.



Captain's Log, stardate 2013.5.31
Wakeup: (6:15am, 6.75 hours of sleep)
- strawberries (10:00am)
- veal (12:00pm)
- eggs (7:00pm)
- strawberries (8:30pm)
- baked apple (12:30am)
Bedtime (3:30am)
Water: 32+16oz
Tea: 8+20+46+8+16oz
("hot chocolate", barley, market spice, zen, cinnamon apple)

(DAY 2.11)

So when I was little, I used to forget to chew my food.  And then I'd forget to swallow it.  I would put it in my mouth and chew it a little bit, but then I would just stop and kind of suck on it and daydream until one of my parents interjected with, "Riley - CHEW!"  Or, for some reason with the case of french fries, I would continue to put them in my mouth and kind of half chew them, but not really realize it until I had my face stuffed with somewhere between 8-12 fries, suddenly realizing that I couldn't really get anything else in my face.

So the french fry thing doesn't really help me much.

But the sitting and sucking on your food is a really great technique if you've only got paltry amounts to work with, which is the case for the higher density meats that I get, i.e. beef and veal. Also, beef is like my favorite flavor ever, so sucking all that flavor out of the protein before I send it down seems like a pretty great thing to do.

You get that arm!!!  Jonghyun's such a stupid dinosaur.

Captain's Log, stardate 2013.5.30
Wakeup: (6:15am, 4.75 hours of sleep)
- beef (11:00am)
- tilapia (8:15pm)
- baked apple (9:30pm)
Bedtime (11:30pm)
Water: 32+32oz
Tea: 16+16+28+16+16+16oz
(green, market spice, barley, lemon echinachea, market spice, sleepytime)

(DAY 2.10)

Actually today has been fine, that's just been stuck in my head. I'm missing a lot of my DVDs that I need to collect from people before I leave, and that may be one of them.

Totally forgot to take my drops last night (HATE THAT), so have been spacing them out more evenly today hoping to forestall some kind of... deficiency or something.

Also have discovered a fabulous new way to eat white fish - I reheat it (I pre-cook 90% of my meat) in a bowl, then dump apple cider vinegar on it (like, 1/4-1/3 of a cup?), then mash it up so it looks a little like cat food, then heat it a bit more 'cause the vinegar was cold, then I eat it wish a spoon so that I get ALL THE VINEGAR. White fish has never been more to me than a vehicle for vinegar (and ketchup, once upon a time when I was very young yet and hadn't been introduced to malt vinegar) - and this is a delicious new way to make sure I get every last bit of that fish absolutely saturated.



Captain's Log, stardate 2013.5.29
Wakeup: (6:15am, 7.25 hours of sleep)
- veal (12:30pm)
- tilapia vinegar mash (6:15pm)
Bedtime (1:30am)
Water: 16+32+32oz
Tea: 16x6oz
(green, market spice, barley, apple cinnamon, market spice, peppermint)

(DAY 2.9)

So this morning was kind of a wtf moment - because the scale decided to jump UP 3 pounds?!?

Dislike.

I felt kind of oddly bloated last night so I'm not super surprised, but I am confused.  I think maybe I've been over-doing it on vitamins / vitamins-in-water or something.  So I'm hoping its mostly water weight or something and it will go away by tomorrow.

It also may be my body saying "hey you're not getting enough calories" and trying to store up fat, so I will endeavor to eat my vegetables today, which I've been neglecting for the past few days.

--

So, like, for once in my life I would like to have calves small enough to allow me to wear moon boots. I know that they're ridiculous, but I want / love them anyways:

--

Nehbermind. I think I figured it out - I'd skewed my internal clock so much over the last three days that my body still assumed it was the middle of the night when I weighed myself this morning. Now that it's wake-up time and I've appropriately emptied my bowels, I feel much lighter :P
--
Yep.  Just weighed myself at 8:30pm and had dropped the 3 pounds. I manage to fuck myself up time-wise SO BAD on 3-day weekends.



Captain's Log, stardate 2013.5.28
Wakeup: (6:15am, 6.5 hours of sleep)
- 1/4 apple (7:00am)
- beef (10:45am)
- tilapia (8:45pm)
- baked apple (9:30pm)
Bedtime (11:30pm)
Water: 32+16oz
Tea: 16+16+16+16+16+20oz
(market spice, green, barley, barley, barley, sleepytime )

(DAY 2.8)

So, in avoidance of writing my Capstone project, the dishes have finally been washed and the laundry has finally been folded.

Also, Aloe Vera FTW! My legs don't feel like desserts for the first time in weeks!  Also because I'm definitely starting to see quite a bit of loose skin, and I'd like to help that tighten up as much as I can. I'm hoping it will bounce back within 6 months or so, because it's not such an egregious amount of weight that there will be that much loose skin, and because I'm still under 30 I'm hoping my "youth" will help snap things back into place.

This weekend has mostly consisted of me wearing my ridiculous new heels and dancing around my apartment in new underwear. I'm not gonna lie, it's been relatively glorious.

Captain's Log, stardate 2013.5.27
Wakeup: (11:30am, 7.5 hours of sleep)
- eggs (2:45pm)
- veal (6:30pm)
- baked apple (7:45pm)
Bedtime (12:00am)
Water: 32+32oz
Tea: 16+16+16+32oz
(green, market spice, cinnamon apple, sleepytime )

(DAY 2.7)

Today was fine.  Probably drank too much fizzy vitamin water, methinks.



Captain's Log, stardate 2013.5.26
Wakeup: (11:30am, 8.5 hours of sleep)
- 1/2 a turkey slice (2:00pm)
- tilapia (3:00pm)
- chicken (7:30pm)
- baked apple (10:30pm)
Bedtime (3:45am)
Water: 32+20+20+20+20+16oz
Tea: 20+20+16+16+16oz
(green, mint-basil, market spice, market spice, green)

WEEK 5 (or 2.1) RECAP

Restart week FTW!

Things really went pretty great this week.  Mostly because I was losing weight like I had hoped, and so that really tempers any negative emotions one might have towards this diet.  I gained a lot from my loading extravaganza of street-fair food on Sunday, but I've overcome that, and am pretty much on track to meet my goals :D

Yay!

As of today, after 7 (+30)  days of eating 500 calories per day while taking pharmacy-grade sublingual HCG hormone drops, I have lost 18.9 pounds, and 18.4 inches. (And 8.2 pounds this week alone!) Awesomesauce! 

Aaaaaaaand I may have gone shopping yesterday.  I went to Nordstrom Rack to buy underwear (it's my new favorite place to buy bras - and with the drop in my bust size you can see why that's kind of necessary), and I came out with two dresses, a pair of ridiculous heels, and three bras.  This is why I try pretty hard not to go shopping.

(DAY 2.6)

Captain's Log, stardate 2013.5.25
Wakeup: (9:30am, 9.5 hours of sleep)
- chicken (4:15pm)
- baked apple (9:00pm)
- beef (11:15pm)
Bedtime (3:00am)
Water: 20+20+16oz
Tea: 20+16+20oz
(green, market spice, sleepytime)

(DAY 2.5)

Didn't do so good on the getting lots of sleep. Got some sleep, but not as much as I was hoping for... I did get some actual school work done in lieu of sleep, though, so that's good.

Again, so far HCG mark 2 is going very well.  I'm kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop, but for right now I'm just pretty fucking pleased with things like my waistline. God damn do I love my waistline (pics from last night):

for which i was NOT appreciable sucking-in - even though it kind of looks like i am.

yeah, that's a picture of me with my shirt tucked into my tights.
i had been wearing a dress all day.

Only health issue I'm having today is my right eye decided to COMPLETELY TWERK OUT. Like, it's all red and hurty and uncontrollably leaking water all over my face. How delightful. And so I'm wearing my glasses today. I hate glasses.

No seriously, eye.  You need to stop leaking and freaking out about daylight.

---

Fucking pink eye is pink.  TT____TT
Or rather:  TT__*

Captain's Log, stardate 2013.5.24
Wakeup: (6:30am, 7 hours of sleep)
- chicken (2:30pm)
- beef (9:15pm)
- baked apple (9:45pm)
Bedtime (12:00am)
Water: 20+20+10oz
Tea: 16+16+16+16+16+20oz
(green, market spice, barley, barley, market spice, green)

(DAY 2.4)

Heyyyyy buddy.

How are you?  That's good, I'm good, too!

Things is going pretty well.  Energy is up, weight is coming off, and things are quickly moving forward in the major event deadlines in my life.

Got my temporary visa application number from the school this morning, so now I get to take a field trip to the Korean consulate early next week for my temporary visa application :D
Hellooooooooo South Korea!

(you're right, this gif doesn't really relate.
but lookit how pretty he is, doin' his little dance.)

--
The goal for tonight is SLEEPING - considering my record for the last 4 nights has been 5, 6, 5, 4 hours T_T


Captain's Log, stardate 2013.5.23
Wakeup: (6:30am, 4 hours of sleep)
- chicken (1:30pm)
- cod (8:15pm)
- baked apple (9:15pm)
Bedtime (11:30pm)
Water: 32+20oz
Tea: 16+16+16+16+16oz
(green, market spice x2, runa, market spice)

(DAY 2.3)

Restart is going well so far :D


Captain's Log, stardate 2013.5.22
Wakeup: (6:30am, 5 hours of sleep)
- chicken (1:00pm)
- cod (8:45pm)
- kale chips (10:15pm)
- baked apple - totally overcooked this (11:00pm)
Bedtime (2:00am)
Water: 32+32oz
Tea: 16+16+16+16+16oz
(green, market spice x3, green)


HEY FACE NARCISSISM CONTINUED - I call it "FACEVOLUTION" :

(DAY 2.2)

Wow that loading day was effective. I'm glad I set myself up in my brain this morning for the possibility of the scale showing me a ridiculously high number, because it definitely did.  But that's okay!  Because it's all coming right back off again :D It makes sense - the reason you have to stick to the low-calorie diet for 2 days even after you stop taking the drops is because you gain weight incredibly quickly if you eat fats while having HCG in your system. I assume it's something about HCG making your long-term fat stores more accessible - and how that street probably runs both ways.

Also, most of the food I consumed on Sunday (and man, that was a lot of food) is still in my system - hence the smooth move tea this morning to help get things moving (apparently it was too much for even the magnesium to handle).

Anyway, I feel good and pretty pumped about this.  Making a new graph / starting fresh helped a lot - now I'm just focusing on the next three weeks instead of comparing them to the time that has gone past.

---

3:00pm - It's amazing how much better one can feel after a successful trip to the bathroom. I think the older I've gotten the more I've learned to appreciate bowel movements in general, but this whole journey has marked a significant increase in that appreciation.

Captain's Log, stardate 2013.5.21
Wakeup: (6:30am, 6 hours of sleep)
- chicken (11:15am)
- cucumber smoothie (6:45pm)
- cod (7:15pm)
- baked apple (8:30pm)
Bedtime (1:30am)
Water: 32+10oz
Tea: 16+16+32+20oz
(smooth move, green, market spice, sleepytime)

(DAY 2.1)

So sleeping last night was as terrible/difficult as expected.
I never understood the concept of a "food baby" until earlier this year, and last night was also a prime example.

Also all my tea tastes weird today and I think it's because I messed up my taste buds yesterday with all the popcorn and other bad things.

Also also, I'm not planning on eating anything today until I think I can eat it without feeling sick immediately afterwards.  So I'm thinking probably just beef sometime later tonight.



Captain's Log, stardate 2013.5.20
Wakeup: (6:30am, 5 hours of sleep)
- beef (6:30pm)
- baked apple (10:30pm)
Bedtime (12:30am)
Water: 32+16oz
Tea: 16+16+16+16+20oz
(green, throat coat, market spice, market spice, sleepytime)

(DAY 28) (LOADING?!?)

See my Weekly Recap for explanation of ridiculous Captain's Log entry.  Sigh.

Tomorrow we're starting over again.  Because I! can! do! this! shit! But I need / want a clean slate to start from.

It's 8:00pm, want an update?  HEARTBURN HEARTBURN HEARTBURN.


Captain's Log, stardate 2013.5.19
Wakeup: (10:30am, 9 hours of sleep)
- baked apple (11:30am)
- beef (12:00pm)
- fruit xylitol mints (1:30pm)
- STREET FAIR (2:30-4:30): 
>>> hand-dipped corn dog
>>> beef/cheese piroshky
>>> kettle corn
>>> chocolate & mint ice cream
>>> 1/2 hand-dipped corn dog
>>> cinnamon/sugar cashews & pecans
>>> dark chocolate orange fudge
Bedtime (1:30am)
Water: 32oz
Tea: 16oz
(green)

WEEK 4 RECAP

This is what I have to say on the subject of Week 4:

FUCK YOU, WEEK FOUR.
FUCK-FUCK-FUCK-FUCK YOU.
AND FUCK ME.
FUCK.

After eating my corndog/fair-food today, I will be "restarting" tomorrow.
I actually kind of can't believe I haven't thrown up yet.  I tried, actually - but my gag reflex is not cooperating.

Pretty much nothing went right this week.  I was on my period pretty much all week - I cheated for the first time in earnest on Wednesday, then repeated the exact same mistakes on Thursday.  I tried getting creative with what I was allowed, which really just meant that I was rationalizing weird ways to cheat.

So tomorrow is restart. Day 2.1.  It's like today was a loading day, and this is just my second cycle of HCG - without all the not-quite-cheating (I'm looking at you, stevia-sweetened jello) that had snuck in at the end of week 3.

Just fucking do it, Riley.  You can do this.  Your body can do this.  Stop letting your mouth/emotions do the thinking.

And for god's sake, write your fucking capstone project and stop procrastinating.  It's not helping anyone, least of all yourself.

As of today, after 27 days of ATTEMPTING to eat only 500 calories per day while taking pharmacy-grade sublingual HCG hormone drops, I have lost 15.8 pounds, and 15 inches.

(DAY 27)

Eating very little may have helped yesterday - have almost neutralized my mistakes.

My face is much thinner than it once was, methinks.  I mean, lots of me is thinner - but I see that in the mirror more often than the rest, so maybe it's more noticeable.

Captain's Log, stardate 2013.5.18
Wakeup: (10:00am, 8 hours of sleep)
- chicken (11:30am)
- apple (6:00pm)
- turkey breast (6:30pm)
Bedtime (1:30am)
Water: 60oz
Tea: 16+16+16oz
(green, market spice, watery market spice,)

(DAY 26) (REGRET SETS IN)

You know how yesterday I was all, like: cheating on Wednesday was great! I feel great! No regrets! YOLO!
YESTERDAY RILEY IS SO STUPID.  I'M SO MAD AT HER.

Because cheater/Star Trek night felt so great, and I was bored at 8:30 and couldn't figure out what to do with the rest of my night last night - I said to myself, "Hey! Let's re-create the awesome that was Wednesday night - because seeing Star Trek again actually sounds pretty great! And I've got time I can walk all the way to the theater and practice my walking!* And I'm still on my period so maybe it won't count!"

So I went to the store, and bought a half-size dark chocolate bar and a Kit-Kat.  And then I walked to the theater, which admittedly was a pretty great idea. THE POPCORN and CHOCOLATE were NOT GOOD IDEAS. Just because you get away with it once, does NOT mean you should try it again. Especially because my brilliant contingency plan was coming home and drinking extra magnesium so that maybe I could push it all out before my system had time to absorb any of it. RIGHT BECAUSE THAT MAKES SENSE.

Ugh, I fucking hate how clear hindsight is.

Anyway, as I was chowing down on popcorn and chocolate I could tell, this was a poooooor decision. And the movie finished and I decided to jog to the little flex-car to drive myself home - that was a pretty good little jog, actually - uphill, etc. Made it home and drank my magnesium WITHOUT STIRRING IT WELL ENOUGH. HEY KIDS, ALWAYS STIR YOUR MAGNESIUM DRINK. Because otherwise it bloats up your stomach and makes you all burpy and heartburn-y to the point where you have to pile 3 pillows behind you so that you're vertical enough that all that foamy shit you just drank has some idea of the basic direction it's supposed to be following through your system. And that's after you've shat out what was left in your system so that it has space to push everything else through.

SIGH.

I woke up feeling pretty shitty still.  Standing up just made me feel like I was going to throw up. And I DIDN'T have some fabulous cleansing and relieving bowel movement like I had hoped. I felt bad enough that I decided to be late to work because I just kept needing to curl up in bed in a fetal position.


Also, apparently eating all that extra food made me completely NOT HUNGRY today.  Maybe that's good?  I dunno.  I guess we'll find out tomorrow morning on the scale.


Captain's Log, stardate 2013.517
Wakeup: (7:30am, 5.5 hours of sleep)
- beef (1:00pm)
- beef (12:00am)
- strawberries (12:00am)
Bedtime (2:00am)
Water: 16oz
Tea: 16+16+16oz
(green, chai, market spice)



*Yes. I'm someone who practices walking. It's what happens to you when you see a posture & movement specialist.

(DAY 25)

1) Star Trek was awesome.  I have only one complaint, but I won't share it for fear of revealing spoilers.
2) I do not regret last night - I had too good a time to regret anything about that evening.

HOWEVER, I am a little pissed / worried today.  I gave in to temptation last night at the theater and ended up with a small popcorn with "buttery topping" - something about the chemicals they put in that shit to make you want it, plus me being a little extra hormonal 'cause I'm on my period, plus a little emotionally exhausted from the fact that I haven't been losing nearly as much as I'd like to be.... it all just came together.  So I ate that popcorn. And that chocolate bar.  They were delicious.

It was my first (and hopefully only) delineation from the 500-calorie protocol.

It's definitely been getting harder.  Holding on to this diet when you're not seeing awesome results on the scale every morning is really difficult, and I can feel myself starting to rationalize all the reasons it would just be better to stop now instead of sticking it out the whole 40+ days.  I don't like it when my graph line gets flat and further and further away from the linear projection.

It did help that yesterday I really did feel great, pretty much all day.  I had a session with my posture therapist who I hadn't seen in 3 weeks - and that felt amazing.  I think adding to all of this is the fact that I haven't been able to work out, and so haven't gotten any of those happy endorphins that I get from exercise. And considering that even with the popcorn and chocolate, I still woke up to a smaller scale on the number, I think I'm going to add some bike riding back into my life.

Just this afternoon I've felt really hungry - it's probably because I didn't take more drops at lunch, but it still makes me unhappy and grumpy.  Hopefully riding home uphill will cure me of the grumpies.

I just drank some market spice tea, that made me feel a wee bit better.


Captain's Log, stardate 2013.516
Wakeup: (6:00am, 4.5 hours of sleep)
- veal (11:00am)
- kale chips (1:00pm)
- apple (2:30pm)
- eggs (7:15pm)
- strawberries (8:15pm)
- poprcorn & chocolate (10:45pm)
Bedtime (2:00am)
Water: 16+32+32oz
Tea: 16+16+16+16+16oz
(runa, barley, barley, green, market spice)

(DAY 24)

Can you tell that I'm not enjoying writing these so much anymore?  They're getting much shorter...

I dislike monthly bleeding time. :(

BUT HEY - IT'S STAR TREK DAY!  

YAY FOR THAT!  DOUBLE YAY!

Captain's Log, stardate 2013.515
Wakeup: (6:00am, 6.5 hours of sleep)
- veal (11:00am)
- lettuce'n'vinegar (12:00pm)
- apple (2:00pm)
- veal (7:15pm)
- strawberries (8:15pm)
- kale chips (9:45pm)
- popcorn with "buttery topping" (small) (10:45pm)
- dark chocolate (11:30pm)
Bedtime (2:00am)
Water: 16+32+32oz
Tea: 16+28+28+16oz

(DAY 23)

Was a total zombie this morning.  That much energy that late at night was apparently not a good thing.



Captain's Log, stardate 2013.514
Wakeup: (6:00am, 6 hours of sleep)
- chicken (11:00am)
- apple (2:00pm)
- halibut (5:30pm)
- lettuce'n'vinegar (6:15pm)
- kale chips (9:15pm)
- strawberries (9:45pm)
Bedtime (11:00pm)
Water: 64oz
Tea: 70oz

(DAY 22)

Oh, today.  You kind of suck, but I will conquer you anyway!  Or survive, at least.

Food is fine. I feel fine.
Didn't lose much weight last night. Started my period.
Have a new mystery prescription to pick up at the pharmacy.
I think doubling my thyroid dosage was a good thing.

---

OH MAN THYROID DOUBLE BONUS!
Don't know if I'm all jazzed from being done with my midterm (doubt it), or because I took my second dose of thyroid medication (probably), but I have WAY more energy than I've had in a looooong time.

Also, I'm making stevia jello. Mmmmmmmm jello.
It's green, and flavored with lime soda water and vanilla and raspberry and lemon extract.
I put edible glitter in it to make it even better.

Also also, my mystery prescription is different kind of thyroid medication.  Let's see if I combust tomorrow.  Either way, I'm going to enjoy riding this energy high, turn my kpop up loud, and dance while I try and write a few more pages of my degree project.  ^__^


Captain's Log, stardate 2013.513
Wakeup: (6:00am, 6 hours of sleep)
- kale chips (11:00am)
- chicken (12:30pm)
- hard-coiled egg white (2:30pm)
- cod (5:15pm)
- lettuce'n'vinegar (5:30pm)
- apple (7:00pm)
Bedtime (12:00am)
Water: 32+16+32oz
Tea: 16+(14*6)+16oz

(DAY 21)

I don't know if yall have noticed - if you've been following these daily posts and my eating habits religiously - but I fucking LOVE tea these days.  It's not so much that I love "tea" per say, but rather that tea is warm. And with the lack of fat in my diet now, a taste sensation that I very much associate with warmth, anything that will substitute that sensation is being over-indulged.

I have, however, cut back on my consumption of market-spice, not because I love it any less (it's the one tea that I do truly love. love love love.), but rather because it's seems suspect to me in that it might contain other ingredients that I don't know about... the packaging isn't terribly forthcoming since it's locally produced.  In place of the 8 cups of market spice that I would drink each day if I could, I'm now trying to get in at least 2 cups of green tea (I like green with lemon and ginger, and also I found a green tea with kombucha (how?) and some pomegranate that's pretty ridiculously delicious.

Also, when I say "cup" I'm not talking about a specific measurement of 8 oz or whatever it is.  I'm talking about one "drink" which, and I know because I measured my mugs' capacities last night, is between 16-22oz.



Captain's Log, stardate 2013.512
Wakeup: (10:00am, 9 hours of sleep)
- beef (11:00am)
- hard boiled egg (5:30pm)
- lettuce'n'vinegar (5:30pm)
- apple (7:15pm)
- chicken (8:00pm)
- kale chips (10:00pm)
Bedtime (12:00am)
Water: 32+16oz
Tea: 90oz

WEEK 3 RECAP

So.  For 21 days now I've been eating like a crazy person.  It really doesn't seem that long.

I haven't lost as much as I'd like to, but I've still lost a lot more than I would have sans HCG.

Also, my upper body is great at HCG, totally knows how to work that shit.  Lower body is a little slower to catch on - but that's been the case my whole life.  I really hope it gets into the game in the last three weeks, since that's where I store most of my fat.

As far as how I'm feeling - it's still been a little up and down, but nothing like the first and second weeks.  The biggest difference in my mood now is that now I pretty actively crave all the food I haven't been able to have for the past 3 weeks.  Chocolate, butter, dairy, macadamia nuts, dark-meat chicken, corn dogs.  Really, anything with fat in it. I'm so happy that the "maintenance" phase (for the 3 weeks after I finish the 500 calorie days) will allow me to have fats - still no sugar or starches, but fats are A-OK!  It's pretty much just a strict paleo diet, at which I'm totally proficient by now.  Anyway, on to the stats and the photos:


As of today, after 20 days of eating only 500 calories per day while taking pharmacy-grade sublingual HCG hormone drops, I have lost 15.8 pounds, and 12.5 inches.

Also, just as a fun comparison, here's a couple pictures of me when I weighed 175lbs, and had also just sprained my knee.  All of this gets easier when I remember that 2 years ago I weighed close to 40lbs more than I do today.

(DAY 20)

Saturday!  Start of my work weekend!  I am being positive, and so far it's working out well for me - I've gotten a fair bit of work done and I feel like I've got a good game plan for what I still need to accomplish.  :D

I also think the stress audio meditation thing I listened to yesterday did wonders.

Also also, Doctor has had me double my thyroid medication, and supposedly will have another med for me to take starting tomorrow or Monday.  I do appreciate that she really wants this to work for me.  ^__^




Captain's Log, stardate 2013.511
Wakeup: (9:30am, 8 hours of sleep)
- eggs (11:00am)
- lettuce'n'vinegar (1:30pm)
- strawberries (2:30pm)
- apple (4:45pm)
- chicken (6:30pm)
- kale chips (9:00pm)
Bedtime (1:00am)
Water: 96oz
Tea: 90oz

(DAY 19)

Yes.  7 hours of sleep is the sweet spot.
At least for feeling good.

Apparently not for losing weight.

Doctor is having me test my thyroid again.

WHICH IS GOOD, because this whole not-being-able-to-eat-anything really sucks if you're not seeing continuous improvement.  Somebody left a bag of frosted animal crackers in the mail room, those inconsiderate bastards!  What are they trying to do to me.  DX

Yeah.  My mouth reeeeally wants fat of some kind.

I also think maybe I'm not losing weight because I'm way to stressed out.  I have meditation anti-stress things to listen to, and I'm going to pull them out again.


Captain's Log, stardate 2013.510
Wakeup: (6:30am, 7 hours of sleep)
- chicken (11:00am)
- apple (1:30pm)
- hard-boiled egg white (5:30pm)
- cucumber smoothie, beef (8:00pm)
- strawberries (10:30pm)
Bedtime (1:00am)
Water: 80oz
Tea: 72oz

(DAY 18)

Eight hours of sleep made me feel TERRIBLE.  :(
Seven hours makes me feel great, and I thought I'd try to get the full 8 hours for a change, as recommended, and I had SUCH a hard time waking up today. Very late to work. AAND I didn't lose any weight.  :(

Grumpy grumpy grumpy grumpy.

--

It's the afternoon, and I feel reasonably better.  I did feel grumpy and hungry till about 1pm or so.  And I've still got weird little hunger twinges.  But at least I'm not just uncontrollably frowning anymore.


Captain's Log, stardate 2013.509
Wakeup: (6:30am, 8 hours of sleep)
- apple (8:30am)
- hard-boiled egg (11:00am)
- cod (1:30pm)
- kale chips (3:00pm)
- beef (6:30pm)
- cucumber smoothie (8:00pm)
Bedtime (11:30pm)
Water: 96oz
Tea: 64oz

(DAY 17)

Arghhh - I keep almost forgetting to take my drops... Had to run home this morning to take them.  Emergency drops!  I also am not holding them under my tongue long enough... I had figured out how to do that for a while, and now I've kind of lost it.


Captain's Log, stardate 2013.508
Wakeup: (6:30am, 7 hours of sleep)
- chicken (10:45)
- lettuce'n'vinegar (12:45pm)
- apple (3:00pm)
- beef (6:45pm)
- kale chips (7:30pm)
- strawberries (8:30pm)
Bedtime (10:30pm)
Water: 96oz
Tea: 68oz

(DAY 16)

IT'S BEEN A BIG 2 DAYS.

1) Yay, I started losing weight again!  HCG totally works when I don't sabotage myself - imagine that!

2) HOLY FUCK YOU GUYS I ACCEPTED A JOB IN KOREA.  IN 2 MONTHS.  THAT'S SO SOON.  SO SO SOON.  Still waiting on the contract to be sent back to me with their signature on it, but it's like 95% confirmed at this point.  Like, even though I've been planning all this, really signing the contract and pressing "send" on the email was HUGE.  I'm REALLY MOVING TO A FOREIGN COUNTRY AND GIVING UP ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING I KNOW. (Except the cat. Thank god for the cat.)

Captain's Log, stardate 2013.507
Wakeup: (6:30am, 7 hours of sleep)
Brunch (11:15am)
- chicken
- cucumber smoothie (2:00pm)
Snack (3:30pm)
- hard boiled egg
Dinner (6:30pm)
- beeeeef
- kale chips
Snack (8:45pm)
- apple
Bedtime (11:30pm)
Water: 64oz
Tea: 76oz

(DAY 15)

SO THINGS WOULD PROBABLY BE GOING BETTER IF I WOULD STOP FORGETTING TO TAKE MY HCG DROPS AT NIGHT.

Le sigh.

I hate that I'm so obviously sabotaging myself.

In other news, things are going pretty well in general.


Captain's Log, stardate 2013.506
Wakeup: (6:00am, 6.5 hours of sleep)
Brunch (10:45pm)
- chicken
- lettuce'n'vinegar (12:15)
Snack (2:00pm)
- apple
Dinner (4:30pm)
- halibut
Snack (7:45pm)
- hard-boiled egg
Dinner veggie (9:30pm)
- kale chips
Bedtime (11:30pm)
Water: 74oz
Tea: 54oz

(DAY 14)

Not much to say today.  Or rather, too tired/unenthused to say it.
I'm sure I'll have more to say tomorrow or something.  Probably.

However, the sun was shining and it was a beautiful day - I'm glad I have friends who came and dragged me out into it, considering I spent the rest of the day holed up in my apartment. (Doing good things, though, for the most part.)


Captain's Log, stardate 2013.505
Wakeup: (10:30am, 9 hours of sleep!)
Brunch (11:30pm)
- beef
- lettuce'n'vinegar
Snack (2:30pm)
- apple
Dinner (6:30pm)
- chicken
- kale chips
Snack (8:30pm)
- strawberries
Bedtime (11:30pm)
Water:  84oz
Tea: 48oz

WEEK 2 RECAP

I started the week out feeling pretty crappy thanks to stoppage, and that persisted for a while - but when that stopped I had my first real "7" day since I started this.  Positive feelings were then derailed by a bunch of other stuff in my life, unfortunately, but now that those things are past, I can say that I definitely feel better now than I have in two weeks.

I very much hope that this week represented the low point in this journey.  Progress was still made, but it was definitely stunted.  And after losing close to 10 pounds the first week it's a bit disheartening to only lose 2 the second week.  BUT I have faith that things are sorted out now, and things will return to something closer to the week 1 rate. :D

As of today, after 13 days of eating only 500 calories per day while taking pharmacy-grade sublingual HCG hormone drops, I have lost 11.3 pounds, and 9.6 inches. That's still pretty ridiculous.


Les Graphs:

(DAY 13)

So I'm finally starting to miss normal food.  I'm not hungry at all, but I keep smelling other things (cheeseburgers) or looking at pictures of food (Kraft mac'n'cheese) and reeeeally wishing I could have some.  It's a really good thing I'm not hungry.

Other than that, I feel pretty awesome.  This week was emotionally draining, but I did finally sort out all the bodily stoppage issues that were making me feel unhappy physically.  I wish I had some awesome weight loss to counteract all of the negative stuff, but all that sorting-out meant I've been pretty plateaued all week.

BUT I did wake up this morning and have to measure my waistline because it looked fucking TINY. Partially me, partially uber-flattering T-shirt. But, that's definitely something.

---

Earlier today I was like, "I miss spicy food." :(  So I decided to put ALL THE CURRY & CAYENNE PEPPER in my house on my kale chips.
Satisfaction level: Mouth. On. Fire.

I'm re-naming them "fire chips" from this day forth.

Captain's Log, stardate 2013.504
Wakeup: (9:30am, 11 hours of sleep!)
Brunch (11:00pm)
- beef
- cucumber smoothie (so gross)
Snack (2:30pm)
- apple
Dinner (6:45pm)
- halibut
- kale chips
Snack (11:30pm)
- strawberries
Bedtime (12:30pm)
Water: 96 oz
Tea: 50oz

(DAY 12)

Blargh it's Friday.

Scale went up half a pound. BUT I am not surprised, considering yesterday had a lot of weird things - extra food in preparation for dancing, then lots of dancing/cardio activity. Then lots of stress because I found out I  didn't get the job in Korea that I wanted. Then staying up too late looking at job ads to remind myself that there are tons of opportunities. Then not sleeping well because of stress/magnesium tummy making me go to the bathroom/too-much-caffeine.  In some respects, I think only half a pound is pretty lucky.



Captain's Log, stardate 2013.503
Wakeup: (6:30am, 4 hours of sleep)
Brunch (11:15pm)
- chicken
Snack (2:00pm)
- apple
Snack (4:30pm)
- hard-boiled egg white
Dinner 
- beef (7:00)
- lots of kale (8:30)
Bedtime (10:30pm)
Water: 96oz
Tea: 16oz

(DAY 11)

YAY!  I went potty this morning.  And lost half a pound because of it.

Doctor had told me to take 750mg of magnesium, which I did.  Or rather, I though I did - but then I looked more carefully at the packaging to find that it was only 1000mg of the ingredient, and the actual magnesium mg was only 50. I TOOK SO MANY OF THOSE GROSS SPINACH PILLS LAST NIGHT.  I also drank two cups of Smooth Move tea.  The combination was very effective, and less crampy than I expected.

Hopefully pathways will remain clear. I feel much better already.

Captain's Log, stardate 2013.502
Wakeup: (6:30am, 6.25 hours of sleep)
Snack (11:00am)
- apple
Lunch (1:30am)
- chicken
- lettuce'n'vinegar
Snack (4:00pm)
- hard boiled egg white
1st Dinner (6:30pm)
- eggs
- cucumber smoothie
Snack (8:00pm)
- strawberries
2nd Dinner (9:30pm)*
- beef
- kale chips
Bedtime (2:00am)
Water: 116oz
Tea: 64oz


LIKE, WAY BETTER.  I FEEL WAY BETTER TODAY.
It's just been a good day :D

*2nd Dinner, you ask? That's not allowed!
I know.  BUT, tonight is JKPOP. And while I'm planning on leaving earlier than usual, and doing my best to not dance like a crazy person to every song, I know that I will end up burning WAY more calories than usual, and I think eating a bit extra is potentially the easiest way to defend against that. It would be really sad to go backwards, especially after stalling ALL WEEK, but such is my unflappable devotion to JKPOP.

(DAY 10)

STOPPED UP.
SERIOUS SAD FACE.

i.e. no weight loss, no bowel movements.
These things are inextricably related, unfortunately.

SAD FACE SAD FACE SAD FACE.


Captain's Log, stardate 2013.501
Wakeup: (6:30am, 6 hours of sleep)
Brunch (10:30pm)
- chicken
- lettuce'n'vinegar
Snack (3:45pm)
- apple
Dinner (7:30pm)
- beef
- kale chips
Snack (10:00pm)
- strawberries
Bedtime (12:15am)
Water: 96oz
Tea: 68oz