..... um.
Hi.
So.
Before that last week of the diet I included in recap 6 this line:
"And I'm in a good enough head space that I think I can make it for one more week without going crazy."
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Near the end of my last week of grad school / this diet, I made this little chart to diagram my unhappy (opens in a new window).
Long story short: I was CRAZY. Like, no sleep, no brain, no common sense, and mostly importantly, unable to keep any semblance of this diet working. Mostly because I had to write 30 pages of dissertation-style text. And words only come out my fingers when food goes out my mouth. This is what I have discovered. It is mildly horrifying, that luckily, I hopefully never have to go through again! Yay!
I ate and ate. 132 was my lowest weight, I think, but I was probably back around 140 by the time I finished taking the drops. Then my parents showed up. And I ate. WHY I THOUGHT THIS DIET TIMING WAS SMART, I HAVE NOOOOOO IDEA.
SO, MOVING ON.
Or rather, MOVING OVER SEAS.
I'm in Korea now.
It is awesome.
This is kind of how life has gone thus far (beware the CAPS):
1. I'M AFRAID OF LEAVING MY APARTMENT, I EAT AT 7-11
underlying currents of EATING MY FEELINGS BECAUSE I'M AFRAID OF EVERYTHING STRESS
2. I FOUND A NICE COFFEE SHOP! YAY!
underlying currents of EATING MY FEELINGS BECAUSE I'M AFRAID OF EVERYTHING STRESS
3. I FOUND A NICE CHICKEN LADY! YAY!
underlying currents of EATING MY FEELINGS BECAUSE I DON'T SPEAK KOREAN
4. YAY! Food! YAY! Crossfit!
underlying currents of EATING MY FEELINGS BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE FRIENDS
6. WHY THE FUCK IS CROSSFIT SO OBSESSED WITH DOUBLE-UNDERS?!?!
underlying currents of EATING MY FEELINGS BECAUSE I HATE WORK
7. FUCK CROSSFIT. CHICKEN IN KOREA IS ALL FUCKING AMAZING.
underlying currents of EATING MY FEELINGS BECAUSE ALL MY FRIENDS ARE 20 YEARS OLD
8. HULLLLL I'M ALL LIKE FAT AGAIN
underlying currents of EATING MY FEELINGS BECAUSE HULLLLL I'M ALL LIKE FAT AGAIN
ALL UNDERLINED BY THE FACT THAT 98% OF KOREANS ARE SUPA-SKINNY.
Also, also, I used to think Skinny Legs were skinny.
My ability to delineate between variations of Skinny Legs is now quite high.
On the Leg-Scale in Korea, I came here at "obese" and have moved to "morbidly obese".
Remember all those really great pairs of size 6 jeans I bought before I came? Yeah, totally can't wear those. Nor can I wear the one pair of 8s that I brought with me. That was really the breaking point. No pants. And no possibility of buying pants, because, like, Korea.
So. Non-prescription "HCG Triumph" has been ordered, and delivered, and I'm ready for Round 2.
I'm a little afraid of the "non-prescription" aspect of things, but this seems to be a brand with relatively good reviews, and they had a BOGO deal going on, so I got enough for two rounds.
I don't know how long I'm going for this time. At least 23 days (that's the minimum), but probably around 30. The goal this time is to stop myself before I fuck up. I'm a lot less overtly stressed out, and have more imminently present reasons and visual reminders of my goals, so maybe I can make it to 40 days? I'm going in with this with a plan, but a plan based on my own abilities to succeed rather than a super-strict number. I'd like to make it to 30.
I'm a little worried about not having enough detox time. BUT I'm also so fucking excited that I kind of think I should just go for loading this weekend, instead of waiting a whole 'nother week where my will power for primal dieting is weak. I'm afraid I'd just put on more weight.
That means I've got 3 days of faux-detoxing (lots of apple-cider vinegar, lots of water, little-to-nothing processed, nothing fried, drinking veggie juice everyday (I did buy myself a hella-nice juicer a few months ago)). Then Saturday/Sunday will be loading days - probably a lot of Indian food and samgyeopsal (Korean thick-cut unsalted bacon that you fry up on a grill).
My shopping list (and diet for the next 30-40 days):
Cucumbers
Spinach
Lettuce
Kale?
Apples
Oranges
Strawberries
Lemons
Chicken Breast
Lean Beef
Eggs
White Fish
mustard
spices
mineral-based makeup
extension cord for my new oven
I'll post pictures and specs this weekend. For now though, just wish me luck!
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